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Once again Reg the Lurcher and I stepped into the house following the daily dog walk, both rather wet. Reg shook in the hallway, sending a pattern of spray onto the hall wall. Perhaps I could learn to do that.
My top half was dry but my jeans were pressed flat and freezing against my thighs. I pulled off my gloves and stood glaring at my other half's smile.
"You should have put your waterproof trousers on" said my partner (whom I will call "T").
"You know I hate those things" I said. "Takes longer to put them on than to get to the beach. Anyway I can never find them. And you know what? It isn't even raining that much - all the water from the jacket just runs off and soaks my legs. I'm like a house without guttering. Bloody weather. I need a long rain coat, full length - just for dog walks".
"Well if you find one let me know," said T "I need something like that for the yard".
That's Reg with the long face. He has two coats: one red and one blue. He also has a fluorescent backup for dark nights and neutrality on election days.
Reg gets two good walks a day, one with each of us. He says he likes my routes best but I think he says the same to T.
Later that day finds me on the Internet, striving to find a long raincoat, a coat long enough to cover my trousers and hang over the wellies. What do you search for? A raincoat? A full-length coat? A trench coat? But I did find one: a wax cotton full-length Drover's coat by a well known brand ("sounds like" male hairdresser), and it cost me a fair few quid.
I used this long trench coat for a year of dog walking.
I wore it to work a couple of times as well, with the cowboy hat I got for my birthday. It was all a bit much really for herding a lone Lurcher. With the hat on - the horse-humour would come thicker and faster than stampeding Bison.
I wanted to like this particular long coat, but we did not get along. It was fine without wind but, once the branches were moving, that coat would open up and the rain would once again pay visit to my thighs. Yes, I know it has some weirdo-fun leg-straps but, honestly, they did not do it for me.
This raincoat was an expensive mistake and the recompense from Ebay would feed a hungry Lurcher for less than a winter month.
Dog walking in the rain. The search for the ultimate long raincoat continued.
My next "find" was was a long coat by the name of "Jack Murphy". This was less expensive, about a hundred quid or so. My Jack Murphy is long, dark green and has a tartan inner lining and I certainly walk a few inches taller when wearing it. This coat performs far better than its predecessor and, as long as winds are not too strong, keeps me dry head to toe. Once the wind really gets going a small amount of rain can get through leading to some dampness around the knee area. This is because the material is quite light and the bottom of the coat blows around in the wind, exposing leg. This was a minor niggle in an otherwise excellent coat, especially for the price.
This was a much longer term relationship than my previous dalliance, only ending when the full-length zip began the process of separating from the main coat (the result of me catching the coat on the corner of a stile).
Following the demise of my beloved Jack Murphy I did revert back to jacket and waterproof trousers for a winter. What a faff. On one occasion I rushed the process and got my boot stuck part-way down a polyester trouser leg. Stuck fast. Reg crying for his adventure whilst I hobbled to the kitchen to look for a sharp instrument to extricate my stuck-fast boot. Mr Bean would have been proud.
I was about to buy another Jack Murphy but decided to see what else was about...
Back to Google. Which is where, five years after my initial search began, I eventually found my perfect long raincoat for my dog walking adventures. A coat that is easily long enough to cover boot or wellington, is extremely tough and hard wearing, waterproof, has a hood and fully stops the rain in a proper storm (a storm with a name ;-) without the need for waterproof trousers.
Baleno coats are made in Belgium. When it comes to fabrics the parent company "Sioen" are really something quite special. Sioen are a world market leader in coated technical textiles and technical apparel designed "to protect people and their belongings". Okay that's their marketing hype - you are not that easily led into spending a couple of hundred quid on a coat.
Well how about this then. Sioen make clothing for foresters (think chainsaws), firefighting, divers, workmen and the army (think bulletproof vests for tactical, covert and overt operations). Basically they manufacture some serious kit for some very serious customers. What they develop in their more demanding markets is used to create product in their countryside and lifestyle ranges.
Baleno long raincoats are manufactured in a waterproof, breathable, hardwearing fabric. The design just works. Press studs are well-spaced and firm enough not to come undone in a gale; they go far enough down the garment to ensure the lower half does not fly open in the wind. This is assisted by the weight of the coat - preventing the hem flying around in the wind (as happens with the Jack Murphy Malvern and Lambourne).
The hood has a draw string to easily change the face opening. The garment is light enough for mild Spring and Autumn use and warmth can be added by layering. To assist this Baleno inner-fleece linings can be zipped into place within seconds. The zip and press stud line has a double overlap to help prevent ingress of rain and wind. And you know what? These coats look good and the materials are quality.
For me the Baleno long coat has changed my wet and windy dog-walks completely. Over the last few weeks storm Ciara and storm Dennis blew through. 50-80mph winds and icy rain. In my Baleno, wellingtons, gloves and scarf I stayed warm and dry. And I mean dry, completely dry. No more waterproof trousers.
T now has one of their long coats as well, for the yard. No more "chilled to the core" due to soakings whilst riding or taking horses from stable to field. No more over-trousers. No more searching for the world's best long raincoat.
But if £200 is outside the coat budget - the Jack Murphy comes a close second :-)
Okay, enough now. It's actually stopped raining... for now.
Reg and I are off out again. To the woods today, away from the crowds, where he sees stuff - things I cannot see.
If he could speak he would say, I believe, that I should use my imagination a little more.
Okay Reg, I get it. I can do that.
Let's go adventuring...